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35 Hilarious Observations Made by People Married to Art Teachers

 
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A while back, I asked my husband if he wanted to go with me to the National Art Education Conference. I needed a travel buddy for the 13-hour drive and he wanted a mini vacation. As we sat eating breakfast in the hotel lobby on the first morning of the convention, my husband’s eyes grew to the size of the grapefruit on his plate. When I asked what had caught his attention, he replied that he had just spotted someone who was FOR SURE an art teacher.

I looked around and saw the one and only Cassie Stephens. I immediately gushed that I wanted a picture with her and squealed that I was a mere twenty feet from an art teacher celebrity. My husband looked back at me and laughed out the phrase, “Oh the things I’ve learned about art teachers since I married you.”

That phrase got me thinking, what else had he learned with only a year of marriage under his belt?  For that matter, what have all of our significant others learned since they’ve been paired up with us? What would they tell others that were thinking about spending the rest of their lives with an art teacher?
 
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I asked several art teacher friends and our very own AOE staff to get to the bottom of this question, and they did not disappoint. I hope your sides hurt from laughing as much as mine have from reading through these. Don’t forget to have your significant other chime in with their own thoughts!

35 Hilarious Observations Made by People Married to Art Teachers

1. “We have enough arts and crafts supplies in our house to stock Hobby Lobby for a month.”
 
2. “It’s normal if she refers to her paintbrushes as ‘Mr. and Mrs. Paintbrush.'”
 
3. “If had a dime for every Pinterest project my wife has asked me to make for her classroom, I’d be self-employed.”
 
4. “When we are around our friends’ children, I can instantly tell when she switches into ‘teacher mode’ with them.”
 
5. “I’m often the first person in 8 hours to tell my spouse that she has paint on her face.”
 
6. “‘Clay Week’ is a rough week. Alcohol helps.”
 
7. “There is no greater joy than the last day of the school year and no greater anguish than when school supplies go back on the shelves…unless she gets to buy a new box of Crayola markers.”
 
8. “She will always be a celebrity when we are out and about if we run into any student from her school.”
 
9. “Jeans are an acceptable professional clothing choice for art teachers, every day, all year long.”
 
10. “Four-year-olds are not the only humans who can still wear funky headbands and do their hair in incredibly interesting ways.”
 
11. “It is ‘awesome’ being asked to help cut out 300 wooden ‘somethings’ because my wife ‘has a great lesson idea.’ Especially since this usually happens the night before she needs it.”
 
12. “Her idea of sleeping in is 7 AM, even if I’m in no way, shape, or form ready to embrace the day.”
 
13. “We have to leave town (maybe even the state) before she will stop worrying about ‘my students seeing me somewhere.'”
 
14. We must always stop at all manner of garage sales/flea markets to make sure we aren’t missing our on some ‘good stuff’ that could be re-purposed.”
 
15. “Everything can and should be saved for a future art project–including almost everything people set out by the side of the road.”
 
16. “She can wear whatever she wants regardless of color, style, or pattern because she is an art teacher, but heaven forbid I wear brown shoes with black pants!”
 
17. “I GET to help hang up artwork for shows and special events at the last minute, and I usually do it wrong anyway.”
 
18. “We must stop at every bookstore where hours of my life are spent waiting as she peruses the children’s section.”
 
19. “Our 4-bedroom house is actually a 3-bedroom, 1-supply-room house.”
 
20. “My opinion will be asked on decor…but it is never taken into consideration.”
 
21. It no longer phases me when my wife says things like, “I need to remove 100 student weavings from their looms during our road trip.”
 
22. “I am expected to keep track of 400 students’ names, so when she needs to tell me a ‘really funny story’ I know exactly which Aiden she’s talking about.”
 
23. “Picking out paint colors for anything requires, at minimum, a 3 hour time commitment.”
 
24. “Yogurt and egg containers are not actually disposable.”
 
25. “Teaching art isn’t a job, it’s a lifestyle.”
 
26. “My car is not used for taking passengers, as it’s a rare day there aren’t supplies traveling in the available seats.”
 
27. “When a drink or dessert magically appears at the table when we are dining out, I do not need to look for some handsome stranger in a dimly lit corner, but instead for waving parents and kids at another table.”
 
28. “A 2000-square-foot-house will lose footage every year to the layers of paint on the walls.”
 
29. “My wife wants to change the color of our walls more than I want to change my underwear.” (Note: Art teacher wife is a little concerned about this.)
 
30. “Many Pharaohs would be jealous of the collection of pottery on display in our home.”
 
31. “The look of pride on her face when our 3-year-old colors ‘inside the lines’ is absolutely priceless.”
 
32. “I have to reassure house guests that my wife isn’t as vain as it may appear when they see the collection of self-portrait projects from college in our basement.”
 
33. “There is actually a difference between Off-White, Beige, Ivory, Mother of Pearl, Cream, Eggshell, Almond, Taupe, and Toasted Marshmallow.”
 
34. “The true meaning of one man’s trash…is always my art teacher wife’s treasure.”
 
35. “While the number of projects she starts is infinity, the number completed will be one or two.”
 
 
Time to spill…what has your significant other learned about art teachers? Let us know in the comments!
 
 
 

Jennifer is an middle school art teacher in Kansas who is passionate about creating an organized, well-managed environment where students feel comfortable to learn and explore.

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